Someone shared with me how they struggle with impatience, are frustrated with the way that energy leads them to irritableness and unkind words to others, and that they long for a gentler spirit. I can SO relate! How about you? They asked me for some life coach advice on the matter, and five simple things came to me:

Soul Seeing: To see people as souls, means to see their inherent worth, belonging, and belovedness. To see from our soul, is to ground ourselves in our innate value, inclusion, and belovedness. It means to recognize, name, and act from the truth that we all come from the same Source. We are all family. Each of us is a once in the history of ever miracle to be treated as a sacred gift.

Perspective: In The Book of Joy, Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama talk about the keys to a blissful life. A huge one here is when you find yourself in a “situation”—like waiting impatiently in a long line—ask yourself, is there anything I can do to lovingly change this situation? If not, which is often the case, then smile and let it be. A helpful way to do this is to redirect our attention to something positive (more on that in a second).

Vent: It is vital for us not to shove our frustrations, angst, anger, impatience, etc. down, but to “vent” that energy in safe and healthy ways. Whether it’s via a workout, yelling at the TV during a Seahawks game when the ref makes a bad call, going outside and letting a scream out, journaling, sharing with a friend, or ______, the effect is the same. It helps us release and process our “negative” feelings in a healthy way.

Ask Yourself Why: Often the issue that triggers us is the more the “straw that broke the camel’s back”, and less the root cause. So, I try to ask myself: Why am I feeling ______? Typically, it takes a few rounds of this query to get to what’s really going on inside me, which then frees me to heal and move on in a peaceful and loving way.

Prana Flows Where Our Attention Goes: “Prana” is a yogic word meaning life-force and vitality. Our life energy flows toward what/how we direct our attention. So, when our “gaze” is on the negative, that’s where our vitality goes. The key, then, is to direct our attention to love, peace, understanding, and the like. For instance, when frustratedly stuck in a long line, one can turn this for the good by choosing to start praying for, and sending loving energy toward the cashiers, customers, and such.

What helps you embody kindness?

Hugs & Love,


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