“Vacuums” suck, by which I mean, in the absence of a story told, one will form in our minds, and it’s often not great! If anything, my wife and I typically overcommunicate, which I think is the best way to go. Yet, when it came to a couple of New Year’s weekend plans, we didn’t, with near disastrous results. Think of each plan as a story, only Lisa and I had conflicting plotlines in our minds. Yikes!
For instance, over the weekend Lisa and I had planned to stay at a mountain town we adore (Leavenworth, WA), but with several snowstorms coming, we opted for the beach instead (Cannon Beach, OR). Usually when we go somewhere our days are full of activities, like yoga, hikes, and wine tasting. This time, though, I figured we’d just chill, rest, read, hangout, and do whatever we felt like. Yet, I didn’t tell her that! Even worse, since it was raining buckets outside, and I’m an enthusiast, the story in Lisa’s head went something like: “Since we don’t have a bunch of fun stuff to do and the weather sucks, Lang is MISERABLE. All is lost!” To make matters worse, it was her idea to switch destinations and planning events isn’t her forte, so she REALLY felt she’d let me down.
As this came to light at the hotel, we realized our stories had collided like two football players tackling one another into unconsciousness! A few tears, several hugs, some understanding words, and a few minutes of sharing what each of us thought and wanted later, though, all was well and we had a lovely getaway.
Rev. Jacqui Lewis says, “Our life job is to see better, to see ourselves better, to see each other better.” You see, when we take the time and effort to see deeply, we step into the Flow of Love, which moves us to care for one another well. So simple, but certainly not easy! Seeing ourselves and others better requires courage and vulnerability, as we bravely wade into the depths of people’s lives (including our own), while also sharing the tender, complicated, and other bits within us we tend to want to avoid voicing.
The holiday weekend that nearly was a disaster, but turned into a blessing emphasized 3 things to me. (1) Speak up! Aside from the bits of craziness we all have float thru our brains, it’s vital for us to share the story in our heads with those it pertains to. Things go better this way! (2) Remember the tales we form about others when they haven’t shared are just that, TALES. (3) Love tells the BEST story about everyone, so assume the best of others (and yourself).
As always, I pray my reflections are a blessing to you, and would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Hugs & Love,
Lang
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