Darkness. What’s your relationship with it? As we approach the literal darkest day of the year, I’m reminded going fully INTO my metaphorical darkness is the path to my brightest lightness. It’s no mistake that Christmas, a celebration of Light, was originally on the winter solstice. It took truly facing the depths of my porn addiction, for instance, to not only free me, but to be lifted to a freer and easier plane of existence. As much as I love to exaggerate, I don’t think I am by saying: Our individual and collective wellbeing absolutely depends on each of us engaging our inner darkness with kindness.
I Love everyone. Literally. I don’t say that to brag (I believe it’s a gift from the Christ), but to start with the ending. From a place of inner lack, insecurity, hurt, and fear I spent years of my life needing to dislike, hate, and/or wish punishment on others. Commies in the ‘80s. Liberals in the ‘90s. Muslim extremists in the ‘00s. It breaks my heart to type this, and ponder the others I could add to the list, but hopefully you get the point.
You see, to fill the childlike cry for love, acceptance, and approval within me, I scapegoated those I saw as “immoral”, “wrong”, and/or “bad”. Branding others as less than us, so we can feel better about ourselves, is sadly a common game we play. You know how in Lord of the Rings Frodo had to go into the very heart of evil, Mount Doom, to destroy the Ring and bring a new era of light? That’s what I had to do with my darkness.
Naming, facing, and addressing my veracious insecurity, which led to my scapegoating, is what brought me to bigger and brighter acceptance, approval, and Love than I ever dreamed possible. It’s not like I’m done here, though. One of the reasons I love yoga is because it forces me to kindly confront the judgments, struggles, and other darkest bits inside me—and on the other side I find myself brighter, lighter, freer, and more peaceful and Loving.
Grappling with our inner darkness is to purposefully participate in the universal pattern of new life after loss, spring following winter, and resurrection after death. The path to wholeness and radiance is NOT avoidance, it’s lovingly going fully into our crap to uncover the brightness on the other side. What’s your experience? I hope my musings bless you, and you have a beautiful day!
Hugs & Love,
Lang
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