Love first, and ask questions later. I was in the air force and come from a military family, so the old saying, “Shoot first and ask questions later”, is imbedded in my brain. I feel over the last 10-15 years, though, I’ve been on a slippery slope into Love; in that, experiences, studies, and beliefs have led me to increasingly want and work for the flourishing of ALL people and creation. Perhaps that’s why the other night the words: “Love first, and ask questions later” popped into my mind. But, what does that mean?

I have a tat with “Be-Loved” and hearts on a winged cross because, for a variety of reasons, a major storyline in my life has been being UN-loved. Suffice it to say the trauma of divorces, as well as some experiences, cultural messages, and beliefs, wired me to think: “Be perfect first, and THEN you’ll be loved.” Can you relate?

What shifted, and continues to change that storyline was this consistent, clear, and continuing message: The Creator of all things Loves you more than words can express, no matter what, period! And time after time after time, so many people have tangibly expressed this Truth to me. Do you feel how monumental this change of narratives is?

Honestly, if doing, speaking, and thinking good things was a marathon, for me the swing from needing to be perfect to be loved, to being LOVED always and forever without end because that’s what Love does, is like running 26.2 miles solely powered by an AA battery vs. being propelled by a jet fighter. And I’m not exaggerating! It’s plugging my heart into a never-ending well of Lovingkindness.

Love is a flow, wherein freely giving is abundantly receiving, when we do so from a place of freedom and joyousness, without pressure or expectation. Truly, this is the fuel that runs our family—as my wife Lisa, my daughter Lara, and I each pour ourselves out for the thriving and flourishing of one another—it’s a virtual dance-party of Lovingkindness!

“Love first, and ask questions later” has been a total game-changer for me, because Love is the energy that has, and continues to, change me for the better—while the spirit of “should”, “ought”, and such leaves me stressed and struggling. When all is said and done, I’ve found when we Love first, everything else has a way of working out! 

Hugs & Love,


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