We’re in a somewhat stormy stretch of life. Yet, “somehow” I feel quite calm and beyond content with things. While, the stressors and struggles we’re navigating aren’t mine to share here—although, getting my doctorate is one—I will say it’s not my first time through the “wringer”. That said, when I went through my first divorce I fell into a deep despair, not seeing much point to life anymore. In a different way, my second divorce nearly undid me … well, actually it did, which is a big reason why I’m so at peace now.

Us humans have this tendency to attach to and identify ourselves with the external circumstances of life. New love has us flying high, yet breakups leave us devastated. Jobs that provide prestige and prosperity feel great, while ones that don’t, or unemployment, are downers. Know what I mean?

Our external experiences of life, though, are inevitably fleeting and variable, which puts our minds on a rollercoaster of highs and lows. That’s exactly what happened to me in said marriages. Boy, do I remember flying high with how glorious the honeymoon period of my second partnership was, especially following the crash of my first! Yet, as long as I bound my self-identity, worth, and love to my achievements, relationships, earnings, possessions, adventures, and the like, I found myself like a tiny boat at the mercy of life’s waves and winds.

This is why losing myself, during my second divorce, helped give me my True Self. Jesus teaches we must lose our life to find it, while St. Paul writes of discovering our life “in Christ”. A paradoxical Truth they’re both naming is:When we switch from identifying our self, worth, and love with our doings, relationships, achievements, moneys, titles, homes, etc. (all external, perishable, and fleeting), to anchoring ourselves in the unconditional, unending embrace of the internal, permanent, and eternal (like Christ), we tap into the cosmic well of peace, joy, and love without measure. We become calm in life’s storms.

Lose yourself to find your Self. That’s the pattern. Lose the wobbly self we try to construct, so we can receive the Shining, Stable Self the Divine already created us to be.

Hugs & Love,


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